


Cut Some Teeth

by I_sleep_on_roses



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Demisexual Steve Rogers, Gen, Genderfluid Steve Rogers, Hipster Steve Rogers, Jock Bucky, Other, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Harm, Sexual Confusion, queer slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_sleep_on_roses/pseuds/I_sleep_on_roses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is a proud, non-binary, art kid. Bucky Barnes is an emotionally repressed, sexually confused, all As athlete. A string of awkward incidents between the two of them soon lead to something more.</p><p>((Warning: Queerphobic language is used, but never by Bucky.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Making Friends in Bathroom Stalls

James Buchanan Barnes, perfect student and son was having an emotional breakdown in a bathroom stall. The stress of schoolwork, sports, babysitting his sister, and being one of the most popular kids at Brooklyn Academy had finally taken their toll on him. Sure, his adoptive parents were kind enough, but they were strict and little support in the emotion department. He thought of all the possible things they would say if they saw him sitting on the downtrodden floor, crying to the point of puking.

 _Oh God, someone just came in,_ Bucky thought, but was still unable to stop.

Footsteps closed in as someone else just happened to enter the stall right next to his. Sobs turned into choked whimpers as his body began to shake almost hysterically. There was an awkward silence until a gentle voice spoke up.

“What’s wrong?”  
“Go. Away,” Bucky barely managed to say, feeling the aching pain in the pit of his stomach coiling tighter.  
“Oh, come on. Who better to talk to than an anonymous pair of feet?” the other boy said matter-of-factly.

A small, sarcastic laugh gurgled out from Bucky’s throat.

“Guys aren’t supposed to cry. What would you think of me if you knew who I was?”  
“First of all, I don’t give a shit in space about what anyone is or isn’t supposed to do. Secondly, with all your blubbering I can’t tell who the fuck you are. So go ahead... Confess your sins.”

It must’ve been the nonchalance in the voice because Bucky felt a strange comfort right then.

“I just,” he said between strained breaths, “I don’t wanna disappoint my folks. My friends look to me to be the stable one. Even my teachers and coach put me on a pedestal. It’s too much. On top of that, my girlfriend broke up with me a couple months ago, and I guess I haven’t gotten over that yet.”

“Everyone expects me to act a certain way, but now I don’t know who _I_ am anymore. I don’t even know what I want. I swear, every day feels shittier than the last.”

  
There was a long sigh before the voice replied again.

“Yeah, I feel ya on the identity crisis bit. As for the rest of it? Not important as your happiness.”  
“But-”  
“‘But’ nothing. Look, I’m no therapist, but I know stress can literally kill you, and there’s no way in hell high school could ever be worth that.”

For a moment the itchy quietness settled in again.

“Listen, I hope you find your answers. I’ll shut up now.”  
“Thank you,” Bucky said, relieved to feel some of the tension release, “For not judging.”  
“Anytime, Stranger,” the voice answered with a slight tone of amusement, “I’ll give you some space to breathe now.”

He listened to the clip of the stall door and the soft steps out of the bathroom. He doubted he’d take the advice, but, for the moment, Bucky felt a little calmer. Teetering a bit, he stood up and made his way to the sink. While washing his face he pondered over who the soothing voice could belong to.

**☓☓☓**

_Well, that was weird,_ Steve Rogers thought upon exiting the boys’ room, _I’m glad I didn’t actually need to take a dump, or that’d be awkward._

What they were really doing was skipping class for the fourth time in two weeks. Their math teacher was particularly lax about bathroom breaks, and so there Steve was, with their hands stuffed in the pockets of their cardigan two times too large for their small frame. Strolling down the empty hallway, they replayed the _Charlie Bartlett-_ esque scene over again in their head.

How ridiculous was it that western society was founded and raised in such fragile masculinity? This poor kid was being pushed to the absolute edge before he hit 20, and he wasn’t even allowed to cry about it. School was Hell enough by itself without confining everyone to gender norms. Getting all worked up, Steve kicked a locker and accidentally knocked it open. A flyer slipped out that caught their eye.

 

Party @ Stark’s

This Friday @ 9

DON’T MISS IT!!

 

It baffled them how Howard could be head of the robotics team and still be so popular. Shutting the locker, they considered whether to crash his party or not. It would certainly give Steve something to do that weekend. Maybe they’d even find the mysterious, crying jock.


	2. Leather Skirts and Bloody Fists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking gender norms at Howard's house party, Steve ends themself in a fight with school bully, John Schmidt. This leads to another incidentally deep conversation between them and Bucky, and neither of them know what to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna skip the queerphobic language and violence leave at "His internal dialogue was cut short when he noticed yelling coming from outside. He went back to the patio, along with the sudden crowd forming." and come back around “Howard, do something,” Bucky angrily whispered to Stark, who had just arrived on the scene himself , “It’s gonna ruin your party if he dies.” It's just 3 paragraphs, so you won't miss much.

Friday night rolled around, and, outside of classes, Steve could show everyone their true form. They decided on a pleated leather skirt, ripped tights, and a cable knit sweater.  They put on red lipstick, winged eyeliner, and didn’t give a fuck what anyone was going to think. What they weren’t prepared for was sheer amount of people at the party.

 

It was only 10, and kids were already piling in. The Stark household was more like a mini-mansion, and apparently Howard had plans on filling it with half of Brooklyn Academy. And then half of the people there had their eyes on Steve as they entered the place. They were considering getting a beer when they heard a familiar voice.

 

“I am  _ so _ relieved I didn’t have to babysit my sister, Rachel, tonight,” James “Bucky” Barnes said to Timothy “Dum Dum” Dugan, James “Montgomery” Falsworth, and Gabriel Jones, taking a swig of his Blue Moon.

“Man, aren’t your parents always dumping shit like that on you?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, but, they mean well…”

“With the ACT coming up and everything coming up, though, it ain’t fair to ya,” Tim added.

 

Bucky shrugged and took another sip of his drink.

 

Steve didn’t know why they were suddenly eavesdropping, but James was ringing some sort of bell in their head. Not only that, but he was kind of gorgeous: He wore a fitted pair of khaki jeans and a denim button-down with the sleeves rolled up. He had toffee brown hair messily slicked back, warm grey eyes, and a slight stubble which brought out the sharpness of his jawline. They didn’t want to fuck him like almost every straight girl and gay boy at their school did, but they still occasionally found themself staring.

 

“Oh lord, it’s your ex,” Montgomery warned James with a nudge and a nod towards the foyer.

 

He turned his head to the doorframe just as Connie Lorraine walked past Steve.

 

_ Speaking of people who slept with Buck-  _ their thought was interrupted just as James choked on his beer.

“Oh my god,” they said at the same time.

 

They pegged the bathroom crier just before their eyes just happened to meet. Absorbed in his own issues, James broke the connection, and stormed off in the other direction.

 

**☓☓☓**

  
  


Bucky balled and un-balled his fist as he made his way through the dining room and into the kitchen, his friends trailing behind him.

 

“Ya knew she’d be here, Bucky,” Dum Dum spoke bluntly.

“Well duh, but I figured it’d be alright,” he said, finishing off his bottle, “Apparently not.”

 

Connie had been his first serious girlfriend, and the ideal girl at that. She was smart, fun, and had these beautifully rich,dark brown curls. They went out for a little over a year before she dumped him out of nowhere at the end of summer.  It was mid-October now, but the sight of her still made him draw back.

 

“I need something stronger,” he sighed.

 

“Whoa there. You brought ya car here. Stick to the beers. Besides, you know she ain’t gonna bother ya,” Dum Dum said.

“Fine. I guess you’re right. Let’s go out back,” Bucky resigned, grabbing another Blue Moon before heading out to the patio.

 

The drink and the flames from the bonfire calmed his nerves a bit, and, from there, his thoughts switched -oddly enough- to Steve Rogers. He wasn’t usually at parties, and, on top of that, he was dressed up like a girl. At school he always looked effeminate, but this was full-on drag. In a strange way it suited him though… Bucky quickly brushed the thought away.

 

More importantly,  _ why was Steve looking at him like he knew something? _

 

For the next half hour, even as he talked and flirted with others, the other boy’s daring blue eyes bore into the back of his mind.

 

“Can you believe that guy Steve?” the girl he was chatting with asked.

 

It took him a second to realize she was actually gesturing to Rogers, who had come to the backyard now.

 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, one of those weird art kids, I think,” Bucky replied, trying to play off his interest.

“I can’t believe he actually showed up to Howie’s party, and looking like that!” she said excitedly.

“Uh-huh… Listen, I gotta go. Nice talking to you, though,” he said, cutting the conversation short and hurrying off to a bathroom.

 

He washed his face with hot water and attempted to recompose himself. No one seemed to notice, but the skin around Bucky’s eyes was caving in and browning from lack of sleep.

 

_ Heh, maybe I should start wearing makeup. What the hell am I talking about?? I feel like I’m losing my damn mind. Wait- _

 

His internal dialogue was cut short when he noticed yelling coming from outside. He went back to the patio, along with the sudden crowd forming.

 

“I’m not gonna take shit from a little, anorexic faggot!” shouted John Schimdt to Rogers.

“Wow, clever insult! Bet you worked on that one all week,” Steve said, unwavering despite being half the redhead’s size.

“Fuck off, loser! I’m gonna punch the lipstick right off of your smug face!”

“Oh, fight me, please. I’ve been itching to bruise up my fists recently,” he egged him on much to Bucky’s surprise.

 

Everyone knew that Steve Rogers was a fight junkie, but this was a deathwish. The crowd watched as John’s fist went hurdling towards his face. Steve dodged the first hit easily enough, but the second one got him straight in the gut. He doubled over and the redhead immediately took that opportunity to go for the face again.

 

At this point it was definitely clear the kid didn’t stand a shot in hell. In fact it looked like his wish might come true that night if someone didn’t stop John. He had knocked out Steve’s hearing aid and bloodied him up within a few moments. Bucky realized then that, in trying to fight back, Steve was wheezing.

 

“Howard, do something,” Bucky angrily whispered to Stark, who had just arrived on the scene himself , “It’s gonna ruin your party if he dies.”

“Alright, alright,” he replied, putting his hands up, “No need to get over-dramatic.”

 

The two of them put themselves between the brawlers and were met with a round of boos.

 

“You’ve made your point, Johnny, okay?” Howard tried to talk him down.

“Yeah, man, can’t you see he’s having an asthma attack? What the actual hell is wrong with you?” Bucky asked, holding Steve up.

“Go cool off. Maybe grab a cold tequila from the kitchen,” Howard said, offering John 

Still fuming, the redhead took Howard’s advice begrudgingly and stormed off in the direction of the house.

 

“That’s right, better run off!” Steve shouted over Bucky’s shoulder between ragged huffs, “I’ll kick your punk-ass next time!”

“...You’re crazy,” Bucky said, turning back to him and staring in disbelief.

“Perhaps,” the scrawny kid admitted with a shrug and another cough, “But then again, it gets results.”

 

_ What planet did this guy come from, and what results was he looking for??? _

 

**☓☓☓**

 

The looks on everyone’s faces were priceless to Steve, especially James’ at that moment. Nevermind that all of their body was aching horribly.

 

_ Speaking of which…  _ they remembered.

“Need my inhaler,” they said, gesturing to their black canvas purse on the grass nearby.

 

He obliged, propping them up tighter against him so he could bend over and grab it. It didn’t really occur to them the gravity of James’ choice until a few of the other kids started questioning him and beckoning him away from Steve.

 

“He can’t breathe damnit. I’ll be over there as soon as I know he’s not gonna need a trip to the hospital,” he answered, walking Steve over to the bench in the absolute back of the yard.

 

Gabriel, taking his lead, ran off and came back with alcohol and napkins.

 

“Thanks, Gabe. I got it from here,” he said, setting them down and taking the supplies from his friend.

 

The others left in a hurry, and as James wetted the napkin, they took a couple puffs from their inhaler.

 

“Why are you helping me?” they asked, snapping when he began to wipe the blood from their brow, “I can handle myself.”

“My bad. Next time I’ll let John beat you into the ground,” he quipped, handing them the napkin.

 

“I had him on the ropes,” Steve lied.

“Sure ya did.”

“You got a saint complex or somethin’?”

“Seems like you’re the one tryna be a martyr.”

“I just hate bullies is all!”

“Well, live to fight another day,” he said with a gentle smirk.

 

James’ friendliness threw them off, and, for once, they were left speechless. The two of them sat in silence as Steve smoothed over their cuts a few more times. None of this made any sense to them.

 

_ Why would he feel the need to help the “school freak”? I guess he has enough school cred to afford this one kindness. _

 

The thought occurred to them then that perhaps he, too, had remembered their brief encounter in the boys’ room and was actually just returning the favor.

 

“So what’re those results you were talking about getting before?” James speaks up first, crossing his leg over the other casually.

 

“Oh, that. Heh, it’s… Well, regardless of whether I lose the fights or not, I’ve proven myself to be a hassle. People know that messing with me  _ will _ end in a fight, and it’s not like most kids are really as prepared for that as they claim to be. Like with a girl, you lose no what matter what the outcome. Now Schmidt looks like an asshole,” Steve explained with a light chuckle.

 

“Are you a girl?” he asked them, and, for the second time that night, he shocked them with his open-mindedness.

 

They looked James hard in the eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity, but found only innocent confusion and earnest curiosity instead.

 

Steve took a nervous breath before answering, “Yeah, sorta… It’s more complicated than that.”

“Well, I don’t play on going back to Howard’s party at this very moment. Explain it to me.”

_ Who is this guy, and why is showing interest in me now??  _ Steve asked internally.

 

It took a half an hour for Steve to explain their gender fluidity and some other forms of non-binary genders to James. That they were born male but identified as ‘they’ and ‘she’. Most people didn’t understand transsexuality at all much less the rest of the gender spectrum; but it did seem like he was trying, so they gave him the benefit of the doubt. There was a risk that he’d betray them in the face of peer pressure, whether it be tonight or next week in the hallway, but it felt good to finally tell someone besides their mom and close friends.

 

Bit of a role reversal from earlier that week. Steve still wondered if James had figured it out yet but wouldn’t dare ask.

 

As if he sensed their thoughts, he asked, “Sorry to sidetrack, but why do you feel familiar to me? Like, I mean, besides in school and stuff. It’s been bugging me for a little while now.”

 

They felt the compulsion to tell him. Even the playing field a little. They swore they’d never be able to figure his identity out, though, and Steve was too polite to disprove that. James would discover the truth soon enough in his own due time, and they would pretend to be none the wiser.

 

“Besides school?” That’s kinda strange considering we hang out in completely different circles. Um, I mean, maybe?” they lied poorly, “When ya figure that out, lemme know.”

“Uhh, yeah...” he replied, rubbing his thick bottom lip distractedly, “Nevermind, I guess.”

 

The anxiety was was starting to break through James’ charismatic veneer.

 

“Well, ya better catch up with your friends. By now I’m sure they’re questioning your sanity,” they said, trying to dissolve the awkward tension that had suddenly formed between them.

“Hah. I’m starting to question it myself,” he admitted.

 

Steve’s stomach lurched, and they hoped he meant from all of the stress and not because of them. The both of them froze before he stood up from the stone bench a bit too quickly.

 

“I-I’ll see you at school I suppose… Bye then,” James stuttered before making his way back to the house, attempting to get into a strong stride.

  
They had both confessed too much, and now Steve was left alone there with a freshly re-imbued fear of rejection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've taken so long to post!! Laptop breaking and finals and all that jazz. Hopefully I can start posting at least every other week.


	3. The Road to Hell is Paved with Lunch Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has learned an unhealthy method of stress relief, and while Steve isn't bothered by school bullies, there is _something ___grating on their nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warning: Cutting and more queerphobic language. ******  
>   
> If you wanna skip all of that, jump out around "Buck was desperate for release and jump back in around "'Pathetic!'"

It was early Monday morning and, instead of sleeping, Bucky had done all his homework, finished his chores, exercised, and was now perusing the internet mindlessly. His curiosity had gotten the better of him and he began to look into other genders. To his surprise it wasn’t nearly as rare as he assumed it would be. When Steve had told him she was genderfluid, Bucky had to admit that he was slightly skeptical at first, but after she explained it to him, he could see that it was as comfortable to her as if it was assigned assigned to her at birth. This wasn’t attention-seeking. This was perfectly natural; and it almost angered him that she had to go into hiding just to conform to society.

 

 _Conforming to society,_ Bucky thought to himself. Like he had been doing at least since he had hit puberty. Steve wasn’t in hiding for the most part, but he was. Bottling up all his feelings, opinions, and urges just to make sure his reputation would stay spotless.

 

‘My perfect little boy,’ his mother would always say.

 

And with that thought cherry on top of his anxiety cake, Bucky was worked up again.

 

The blood rushed to his ears and his lungs constricted. For the next few minutes, he tried to take full breaths, scrolling down a random blog, but soon Bucky was desperate for release; and the key to it laid right underneath his desk. Rolling his chair over to the left, he pulled the bottom drawer out and and reached underneath to rip off a small, half-opened box of razors that were taped there. He fiddled with the casing for a moment before building up the courage to take one out and head to the bathroom. It wasn’t Bucky’s first time, but he was still new to it.

 

The first time was a little over a month ago and was merely an impulse. He was home alone with his father’s pocket knife and an exposed wrist. The cut was small and stung initially, and yet the feeling afterwards was a sort of joyous bliss. He bought a pack of Gillette refills a week later, but stashed them away out of guilt. The night after Bucky’s meltdown at school he finally opened the package, this time cutting his inner thigh where no one would see.

 

So now here he was in the shower with one of the razors. With far less trepidation than the last two times, Bucky glided the fresh blade across his exposed skin, breaking it open on contact. There was a refreshing sharpness to the pain before the rush of endorphins kicked in, filling him with a burst of relief and a touch of exhilaration. He’d feel guilty about this tonight, but for now he he got a sick satisfaction out of watching the rich red trickle down his leg. In a way it kind of felt good to punish himself.

 

After patching the cut up, Bucky got dressed and ready for the day. On the way to school, he felt more relaxed than he had in weeks. He made up his mind to keep the habit.

**☓☓☓**

Lunch with their best friends was a breath of fresh air following a barrage of mediocre insults involving their appearance and presumed sexuality.

 

“Tranny!” one of the seniors shouted as they sat down to eat with Jim Morita and, foreign exchange student, Jaques Dernier.

“Pathetic!” Steve yelled back with spiteful amusement.

“No one is gonna to let you live down Howard’s party, I hope you know,” Jim said.

“Well, it shut Johnnie up, that’s for sure,” they replied.

“Tu es fou,” Jaques added.

“You like it,” they said, cracking open a bottle of apple juice (their poison of choice) and taking a swig.

“C’est vrai,” he replied with the most deadpan face, and they all burst into laughter.

 

As Steve regaled their friends with the tale of Friday’s antics, Bucky walked into the cafeteria. They locked eyes, and while he looked better off than their last encounter, that quickly changed as the color drained from his face. The moment ended as soon as it began. He pulled his shoulders up and practically scurried to the popular table across the room from Steve.

 

“Typical,” they sighed, adjusting the collar of their polo.

“Hnh?” Jaques wordlessly asked.

“What was that all about?” Jim stopped stuffing his face with fries to ask.

“I just- I’ll explain it later…”

  


The rest of lunch seemed to be tinted in a melancholy blue after that. They expected Bucky to ignore them once they were back in the confounds of school, but still it hurt. In fact, it was starting to piss Steve off.

 

 _Popularity is a shit-ass motive for an emotional hit-it-and-quit-it,_ they thought to themself.

 

By the time they got back to their locker, Steve was practically fuming. Upon opening it, they found a note lodged in one of the slits of the locker door.

 

‘Can we meet after school at the bleachers?’ was scribbled down messily.

 

At that point they had half a mind to punch him right in his etched jawline. Bullies were easy enough to ignore in the classroom, but now the rest of the day their thoughts were consumed with the possible excuses Bucky might give. Steve had no tolerance for the sitcom, hot/cold bs, and they planned on telling him off as soon as school let out.

**☓☓☓**

As classmates walked by and waved, Bucky tried to disguise his hand-wringing as fiddling with his watch. Waiting for Steve near the bleachers was getting more and more stressful by the minute. He kicked the grass incessantly, wishing he was digging a hole to China right then and there.

 

 _How could I be so stupid?_ Bucky questioned himself internally.

 

When he saw her in the cafeteria, it dawned on him why she seemed familiar; and if he recognized her, then chances are Steve had him figured out too. Bucky had to get this sorted out and put his trepidation to rest.

 

Unfortunately upon noticing her out in the field, though, he felt in no way relieved. She was fury on two legs charging towards him at full speed. What could possibly piss her off this badly was beyond him, but the glare on her face mildly terrified Bucky.

 

“Hey, can we ta-” he was cut off when Steve grabbed him by the varsity jacket and dragged him behind the bleachers.

“If you wanna say _anything_ about how last weekend was an accident or how you can’t be seen with me in public, I’ll spread rumors about us dating so fast you’ll have to change school districts within days,” she whispered angrily.

“Huh? _That’s_ what you’re fuming over?” he said after processing her words, “No no, this isn’t about any of that.”

“Then why did you want to talk to me abou- ohhh. This is about-”

 

“Yeah…”

“Yikes,” Steve said, letting go of Bucky’s jacket.

“How long did you know?”

“Since we saw each other at Howard’s party. I’m sorry.”

“Oh god. This is so embarrassing,” he huffed, rubbing his face distractedly.

“Honestly, I really don’t give a shit about it. It’s not like I’m gonna rat you out or anything.”

 

Bucky let out all the air he was holding onto.

 

“Thank you. Seriously,” he said.

“Yeah, no problem. I may pick fights, but I’m not an ass.”

“I mean, I assumed not.”

 

And just like that the conversation halted awkwardly.

 

“So then, you’re not gonna pretend that Friday never happened?” she asked somewhat nervously.

“No? I know I’m a ‘cool kid’, but hey, I’m not a complete ass either,” he joked in attempts to lighten the mood, “Plus, I rarely see you anyway.”

“Right.” she said, playing with the lining of her thick, denim pocket.

 

They smiled at each other oddly, becoming aware of the change in atmosphere.

 

 _Why do I wanna stay friends with her?_ he thought.

 

Something about someone who knew about Bucky’s hidden pain brought him comfort. Almost against his own will, his brain was determined to latch onto that comfort now, and he sensed Steve was starting to catch onto that.

 

“Um, so now that we have that settled…”

“Oh! Yeah, right. You probably have a bus to catch or something.”

 

She chuckled, and for a second Bucky swore he felt his heart jump. He decided to head out first.

 

“Alright, well then, I’ll see you around I guess,” he said, hurriedly starting for the street, “Bye then.”

“Bye,” she said, staying behind.

 

_For someone who doesn’t like drama, I sure am in the shit these last 2 weeks._

  
And something told Bucky that it was only going to get a hell of a lot weirder in the upcoming days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My laptop should be replaced soon, so yay!! While I have little written down for chapter 4, I'll have more time to write soon, and the story's about to pick up pace in the chapter or so! Stay tuned~

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist I made to go with the fic! http://8tracks.com/i_sleep_on_roses/cut-some-teeth


End file.
